one more to go

one more paper to go! maths 2 today was a disappointment...it was definately NOT like the past year papers! i spent the last 45 minutes cracking my brains over two questions..each worth 7 MARKS!!! even after 45 minutes i doubt my answers were correct. there goes 14 marks from my paper...haih... i hope and pray sasha will be generous with his marking. hmph..now i have to study for chem. another day and i'll be jumping and shouting for joy before reality hits me in the face...term 3 is just round the corner..meaning more essays to slog over and more exams! the never ending torture of student life...

curahan perasaan terpendam

thoughts just came streaming into my mind last night...depressing ones. how do u shut yourself from feelings which hurt u? how do u overcome the ache and the pain u feel? at times i feel like i'm in a shell...hiding away from the person who caused the pain...then at times i peep out of it but something happens and i withdraw again into that shell. i think i'll never be able to come out of it unless someone comes along to break it. my feelings run too deep in me to be erased by time. haih...i shall remain my distance and continue to admire that person from afar...it doesn't matter if he has someone else in his heart...the satisfaction comes from seeing him find the one he loves..seeing him find happiness. i shall use my shell to block all emotions from revealing themselves...he deserves what he wants.

inilah takdirku. aku tidak akan dapat merasa cintanya menyelebungi diriku, tidak akan dapat menikmati keindahan cinta. kini hatiku hanyalah penuh dengan duka, duka yang terpendam, duka yang terukir dalam hati dan mindaku. curahan perasaanku tidak mungkin berlaku...hatinya bukanlah milikku. aku hanya berdaya memerhati dari jauh, hanya berdaya membisik namanya dalam mimpiku...betapa besarnya keinginanku untuk megembalikan masa yang telah berlalu...duka akan menjadi keriangan..tapi..itulah tidak mungkin berlaku. kini aku hanya tertinggal dengan memori...

those of u who do not understand malay...i apologize. i just had the sudden urge to express myself in malay. i shall think of happy thoughts to get through the day...happy thoughts...

the dreaded paper is next!

MATHS IS OVER! yay!! a huge weight has been lifted off my mind...oh but it returns with the thought of LITERATURE being the next paper! ok...i won't complain about it - happy, imran? maths today was ok. wouldn't call it a walk in the park though. there were a few graph questions which stumped me. argh! graphs! never liked them and never will. with graphs u never know whether what u've sketched is correct or not. i hate being uncertain especially for a maths paper. uncertainty equals mistakes equals failure. i know for certain i'll be losing a few marks here and there. haih..oh well sat for it, done it, now i just have to psyche myself for the next paper...the dreaded literature paper!! i hate to write...maybe because i'm not good at it. i never can pour words out onto paper with ease and without having to crack my brain to try to express myself. i find it so hard. i really admire people who have the gift of writing. i worship them..haha..

less than a week to take off! can't wait! can't wait for chemistry to be over cause immediately after that to shops i go! haha...have to go on a massive shopping spree for friends and family. this time i will write down the whole list of things i have to buy so i won't go off track like the other time...hehe...christina are u reading this? my dad has already given a list of things he wants me to get him eg. fertilizer...hmm....fertilizer?! haha..he's into gardening and his garden is his pride and joy so "importing" the fertilizer back would make him happy. and as long as he is happy i am happy. hmm...this just made a thought spring into mind...have i been doing whatver i am doing now for the sake of my parents or for myself? i guess it'll be for both. if i don't succeed i'll just disappoint myself and my parents to. so...i guess it's for both. actually...when i think about it i am very lucky to have parents like them. they never impose their ideas onto me. most of the time they just let me do whatever i want at my own pace never demanding me to study or to take lessons which i don't have any interest in.. but obviously they do occasionally remind me by bringing up this question..'do u want to sweep the roads in the future?' haha..i guess that idea of sweeping the roads in the future have left an impact on me...i think it has kind of moulded the person i am today..an over achiever..as what my friends call me. u can't blame me!! i don't want to end up sweeping the roads when i grow up! haha..:0)

ok..i think this is enough blogging for today. still in the middle of exams! spending too much time on the comp is a no no!

the forbidden four letter word...W.O.R.K

WORK!! can't stand that word. why does it have to be in my vocabulary? haha...i'm so lazy to do anything eventhough i am aware that i am in the middle of the exam week! this is bad...the temptation to do anything else but work has defeated my will power to say 'NO'. haha..explains why i'm sitting in front of the comp now typing this post. i have imran and clement to blame for this sudden addiction to refine the details on my blog! they just had to introduce me to this new fad! they just had to! haha...

one down four to go! eap's over so one less worry one my mind. now i have to force myself to work on my lit! why was literature made into a studying suject?!?! it's torture! the appreciation and understanding of literature should not be related to exams and marks! haih...i guess this is just one of those things...the facts of school life. this is terrible...i should not lament and just get down to business. sometimes i think i whine and whinge too much... but on second thoughts i find it as a way of getting rid of all the negative vibes in me...if that makes any sense... do emit certain vibes?hmm...i wonder...

i think i should get back to my books. enough nonsense from me.

the power of girl power

tadaa...this is my first self-created blog!! not bad for a start..at least christina says it's better then the initial one created by CLEMENT for me!! haha..proves that GIRL POWER RULEZ!!! okok...being a feminist here..argh!! exams officially goes into momentum tomorrow!! imagine...on a saturday! this is the first ever saturday i'll be sitting, with sweating palms and a drained brain, in a exam hall on a weekend! i am so not looking forward to it. oh..but on the bright side it means i'll be a day closer to 'zero hour'!! i can almost hear the stewardess saying,'please remain seated upright as we prepare for take off'...can't wait!! i'm dying to taste the unhealthy ghee of thosai, taste the wonderful aromatic teh tarik and i'm extremely in need of a PROPER MEAL!! oh my..this is not good...i'm thinking too much of food!! the calories! the weight gain! argh!!! hahaha...but what the heck...i should live by the motto of living to eat not eating to live..haha..what's life without occassionally exciting your taste buds. oops..i think i have over spent my allowed time on the net for an exam eve night. have to do some last minute reading then it's the bed for me! i wish myself all the luck for the exams! haha..