just once

i have seen the true colours of people and i am sorry to say that it ain't as pretty as i thought it would be. yeah, sure people are not perfect but this goes beyond imperfection..this is just plain insensitivity and having an ego bigger than their heads. i just wish that these people will receive their own medicine..i hope it stings them..then at least they will learn to have some empathy or if that's too much to ask maybe just learn to think before speaking.

sometimes i know i lash out at people..but that's just because thier ego just needs a pricking! i am a hypocrite when it comes to giving people back their own medicine. i know it's wrong but i just can't stand it! these people will never learn unless they themselves feel the hurt and sting of words. the thing is i always feel damn guilty after doing that! i shouldn't but i do! guilt just makes the victim a winner.

sorry is a word hardly said by you
sorry hardly leaves your lips
is it hard to say i'm sorry?
or is your ego just to big for it?

hope fills my heart
that one day you'll feel
you'll feel the wonders of apology
the lifting of a burdened heart
just by uttering the word - sorry

come down from your high horse
just once
just once feel the hurt you have caused
just once say you're sorry

what is life without feelings

having false hope...that's what i'm going through now. the only feeling keeping me afloat in all the depression is clinging on to the feeling of having false hope. haih...i will never be able to forget...i can hide it but not forget it. what the heck! the year is about to come to an end soon..i mean time does fly. then i'll be able to start anew in a new environment and with new people. can't wait to start uni. oh well...

life
filled with uncertainties and chance
filled with possibilities and miracles
so unpredictable it is
but yet we embrace it
we live it
we are it

 

thank you

just had a good workout after a full half a day at college. i just love working-out. love the feeling of burning and sweating. it makes me think of my problems and i just punch and kick them away..... all the frustration, pain, confusion and anger. i guess that's what makes me so discipline when it comes to exercising. it gives me some private time to think about things..just listening to my breath...concentrating on my moves. i think maybe that's why i prefer to swim as a form of exercise cause the only sound u'll hear is the voice in ur head. as much as i love these moments of solitude i am very grateful i have friends who are so supportive and they just make me laugh. like they say laughter is the best medicine. imran and his pak cik-ness, christina and her sex craziness, clement and his 'i'm too sexy for this car'-ness and my bestest and closest friend..my twin sis. i just love all them so much and i am so thankful for having them with me here in this alien country. i think my experience here in trinity would have been so different without them by my side. okok...i think i'm getting a bit too melancholic here.
 
well the one good thing was my results for last term. i'm quite happy with them and i hope i can continue the same performance this term....this term being a more demanding one! ARGH!!! oh..something to lament about..my dream guy is not in my chemistry tute anymore!!! so saddening!! cannot think about it..no time for guys now! must concentrate on achieving 96%! enough nonsense. i'll face tomorrow with a positive outlook and determination. CARPE DIEM!
 

to a friend

words cut
words hurt
sorry i say
to any hearts i have stabbed
with my insensitive words
to one soul i especially plea
my words of apology

this i cannot prove
but intuition tells me
behind your facade of smiles
i do see anger
i do feel the distance

if my words caused this fate
evoked the wrath in you
i truly apologize
forgiveness in words
are not what i am asking
just a sense of closeness is all i need
as a sign of acceptance
of this apology

back but missing home

back to the books now and also the results of last term's exams. nervous and scared to receive results. sometimes i wonder whether i should have stayed back home and did a levels instead cause then at least my results would only be in a's and b's but now...SCORES MATTER!! aiyo...96%!!!! how in the world am i gonna achieve that?! well i received my eap results this morning..not bad la. hopefully can get above 80 to pass the language hurdle required for medicine. eventhough it's back to books and classes and lectures i still feel like i am on long holiday. just can't get use to the reality that i am actually living and studying in a foreign land.

just a day back here and i'm already missing the things back home. i miss not having to decide where and what my next meal will be..i miss being driven around by my dad in his megane..i miss being in my own house..i miss the food..i miss having everyone i know and love near me..haih...i have to be optimistic, pick up the momentum again. can't afford to slack now.

won't write a long blog today. just posting out of boredom.

*blah* *blah* *blah*

glad to know that i'm not the only person who hasn't updated the blog for ages..hehe i shall break away from that group and update my blog!! haha..this is so lame! sorry to you who's reading this..i'm just not in the 'writing interesting post' mood now. words are just not flowing out of my mind. i guess i shall stick to the norm and write about my days back in m'sia! well one thing which is definately not surprising is my non-stop eating ever since touch down on m'sian soil. this is a very bad thing! haha...just cannot resist the GOOD FOOD! oh..going to port dickson on tuesday! i'm gonna soak up the sun! i can't believe how fair i've gotten! it's just disgraceful! haha.. oh well..have to take full advantage of the sun before getting back to the gloom and cold of melbourne.

i've watched SHREK 2!!!! yay!!! it was ssooo good! definately i must see! it was just so funny and ppl who haven't watched it yet..make sure u stay seated until the credits are over..a little extra something at the end which u will totally regret missing. puss in boots is a total cutey! he's just such an adorable kitty! watched spiderman 2 too. not as good as the first. i found it kind of long-winded. but i guess this sequel was meant to highlight the conflicted soul of peter parker. haha..ok enough movie reviews.

oh recently heard a new song by micheal leanrs to rock, take me to your heart. it's actually a chinese song by jackie cheung translated into english. the melody of it is so distinctively chinese song-ish. the lyrics are so mushy..haha..but romantic la. mushiness can be at times romantic if said by the right person ;) haha.. okok enough blabbering from me! to all trinity mates...see ya all in a week's time and enjoy the remaining hols!