October 31, 2005

brain malfunctioning

physics is driving me mad! i'm starting to hyperventilate just at the thought of it! this is so bad! hate physics!!! tell me..wht am i doing in engineering again?? haha..hate exams.despise exams. exams are bad for the health and mental state. the only benefit of having exams is having the priviledge of becoming slightly more knowledgable leading up to "D" day and then only to have ur intelligence level plummet to almost zilch while still retaining the few 'know hows of the world' stuck in ur head. it's so pointless! everyday 'drilling' and hands on experiences are worth a trillion times more than 3 hours of writing on a blank sheet of paper. i think i'll definately learn more and also retain more info in my head than cramming for exams. change the bloody education system already!!! it's too ancient for ppl like me! haha.. one out of many of the old traditions of the world...exams. must have been china and those stupid imperial exams which has influenced the whole world in becoming 'mugging' orientated. chinese..too smart for our own good..haha complete info overload has drained me of any sense left in me..hence the rambling and utter nonsense. brain going into overdrive! i think i AM becoming less intelligent as i grow older. brain cells are diminishing in significant numbers! as my bio lecturer once said...brains cells die as we age. hence the roles of lecturers and students theoratically should be reversed! if tht ever happened i will abolish exams for good. i'll be one of the few lecturers now who see the pointlessness in having exams.

ok back to work for me. back to the torture of trying to comprehend the in comprehensible!

till the next update...i just want the brain of a genius..is tht too much to ask for?

October 29, 2005

i just can't wait

i can't wait to decorate and furnish our new place!!! it's going to be so exciting! have to put my interior decorating skills to the test! i can't wait! met the landlord today who's a chilian. nice person and pretty easy going as well. everything will be finalized by next saturday. can't wait to get everything on the move next year. i already have an image of what i would like our lounge to look like..but of course there must be a mutual agreement on the style and theme..and of course if the budget permits. it's going to be so much fun. i've always wanted to do interior dec. just love furnishing and making images in my head a reality. i can't wait to hold a house warming party as well. i just love entertaining..especially when the venue and atmosphere is right. CAN'T WAIT! i think i've repeated that phrase quite a number of times..haha oh well what to do..i am easily excitable!! erm..no sexual connotations intended.

oh another 'i can't wait' thing i'm soo looking forward to..my mum coming to melb..and then followed by me returning home! can't wait to take her shopping and also eating! can't wait to take her to the theatres...watch some good plays..can't wait to show her the new apartment...can't wait to have family near me! i can't wait to go home cause then it means i can shop! haha..omg starting to sound like a shopaholic! i want to change my wardrobe to a more 'my style' kind of thing. trying to find my style actually.i want to find a style i can call my own. have all my clothings in tht 'style' so i won't dislike whtever i pull on. everything will be articles tht i love and would want to wear. ok tht doesn't really makes sense..but i think u get the picture. tht's a lot of 'i want' huh..i just have so many ideas in me. haha. ideas just pertaining to my own being...haha..selfish me. oh well u've got to be selfish in some things. then u'll be a happier person. dun get me wrong..i love to give ppl things as well..i'm happy when i see others happy!! love to give ppl little surprises every now and again. just to see the looks on their faces...priceless.

i can't wait to go home and a certain person a huge hug!! can't wait to go home to spend time with this certain person. can't wait to have long awaited conversations about nothingness with my 'ever willing to listen ear'...haha...can't wait to be in the arms of the one i love..just can't wait!!! can't wait for exams to be over then everything will start moving towards more relaxation and more happy moments...

till the next update...I JUST CAN'T WAIT!!

October 26, 2005

dilemma

which is better...a lie tht draws a smile or the truth tht draws a tear? when u come to a hard decision as this one...i would probably tell the truth..don't u think causing pain would be better than living a lie? cause at least the pain would be just for a certain period of time. time DOES heal all wounds anyway. but to live a lie..tht will be hard. it'll be hard on ur part cause then u'll be tormented mentally day and night, and it'll be hard for the other party as well cause the higher u put them the harder they'll fall. if tht even makes sense. i guess it's like the longer the lie is maintained the more pain it'll cause. so causing a smaller degree of pain is better than causing a higher degree of pain. hmm..ok just a note..but htis entry has nothing to do with anythign personal i'm experiencing now. just read a friend's nick and i just thought it'll be interesting to mention it in my blog. i think most of us have come across a situation where we had to make a decision similar to tht. it's a tough life. :S guts is all we need to get through it. guts!

i shoudl be studying but yet again something always pops up to distract me. had a wonderful italian meal with family friends today. i just love to have old familiar faces around me. just needed tht to perk me up! wht perfect timing. well..back to the books i go!

till the next update...unspoken words says more.

October 23, 2005

dum dee dum

u know when i'm not in the mood to do anyhing else but bum and slack when my blog keeps updating! haha.. not in the studying mood at all..and exams are only 2 weeks away. i need motivation! i need my muse... muse of the sciences..if there ever is such a muse. muses are for inspiration..so can there be a muse for analytical thinking and memory power? i need a miracle now! something to jolt me back into study mode..not tht i have ever been in the mode. can't remember the last time i was ever in tht mode actually. probably the only time was when erm...in trinity when i was a diligent library goer..which actually only lasted for a semester i think..or less. the time now is 1153..shoudl i study or just go to bed and hopefully gain some motivation to study the night through tmrw?? hmm..maybe i shall just look through some notes..not like tht will help. i'm such a bum!

till the next update...exams=mental torture!

October 21, 2005

life's too short

my condolences to jeremy who just lost a friend to pneumonia.. and also to joann who knew this same person as a second degree friend. so many misfortunes in such a short time. what else can there be said in times like these but just 'i'm sorry'. the circle of life..i guess the way to make everything seem better is by looking at it as the passing of one gives life to another unborn child somewhere in the world ready to be conceived. somehow this belief of everlasting life or spirit of a person makes it all seem more worthwhile.

life's to short to not have lived. but wht's there to live when we are bounded by so many restrictions? yes..we can only begin 'living' when we have a proper education..when we have made something of ourselves.. oh well i guess how we see 'living' is relative.

peer into the window
the window of light
what do u see?
i see a soul
a soul with aim
a soul with purpose
a dark shadow approaches
sucking the light
speckless of white
all lost
shattered
redundant it was
all dreams
all hopes
but halt i say
a glow beyond
calls my attention
weak as it appears
strength is within
grow i say
grow
embrace me
return what i have lost
devour me
take over the gloom
a new turn
a new chance
take the risk
reciprocate with gusto
life's too short

my really sad attempt in poetry writing. oh well too filled with emotions to do anything else but write.

till the next update...it's better to have loved than not have loved at all.

October 19, 2005

maths rules?

maths rules?? haha..i cannot imagine the amount of maths i'm expected to know!! argh!! it's getting so hard! drowning in numbers and formulas and theorems and rules! argh!!! this is the hardest maths assignment by far! i'm practically tearing my hair out trying to figure out a way to make logic out of nothing. i need my logical, analytical brain to function. doesn't seem to be able to get cranking though. tiredness suddenly seem to overpower me...the bed looks so tempting..

i miss ur smile, i miss ur voice, i miss ur touch, i miss ur gaze...

hard at work i shall now swear to be!

till the next update...i am shouting because of the estrogen.

October 12, 2005

life bounded by questions

how do u know when u've found the thing u want the most? how do u know that what u have now is what u want for the rest of u life? how do u know that u've made the right choice today for tommorrow? how do u know...

how are u suppose to make up ur mind when the future is so uncertain..when nothing is permenant...when there's doubt in the air...how?

live for the moment. that's what everyone will end up saying. why bother finding answers to the unanswerable? just live life! but how can u live life when u don't know what makes ur life fulfilled? how can u live life when there's still a hole in your life? isn't living life suppose to be living it for ur happiness, for self fulfillment? how can u just go on each day and not think about the emptiness inside? isn't that just fooling urself to believing that u are fulfilled?

what is it that i want in life? what is my aim in living onr this planet? why am i here? am i filling a gap in the whole tapestry of life? but isn't life just living? we are animals... which live and die. aren't our roles equivalent to even the tiniest of living organism on earth? if so, shouldn't we live to just procreate? i just feel like doing what the following lyrics say. we should live like animals once in awhile. just foeget everything we've become disillutioned with. just live based on instincts..carefree and impulsive.



When superstars and cannonballs are running through your head
A television freak show cops and robbers everywhere
Subway makes me nervous people pushing me too far
I've got to break away
So take my hand now

Chorus
cause I want to live like animals
Careless and free like animals
I want to live
I want to run through the jungle
The wind in my hair and the sand at my feet

I've been having difficulties keeping to myself
Feelings and emotions better left up on the shelf
Animals and children tell the truth they never lie
Which one is more human
There's a thought now you decide

Compassion in the jungle
Compassion in your hands yeah
Would you like to make a run for it
Would you like to take my hand yeah

Chorus

Sometimes this life can get you down
It's so confusing
There's so many rules to follow
And I feel it
cause I just run away in my mind

Superstars and cannonballs running through your head
Television freak show cops and robbers everywhere
Animals and children tell the truth they never lie
Which one is more human
There's a thought now you decide

Compassion in the jungle
Compassion in your hands yeah
Would you like to make a run for it
Would you like to take my hand yeah

~SAVAGE GARDEN~

till the next update...everything looks perfect from far away.

October 08, 2005

up and about

i've suddenly become more impulsive in my decisions..thanks to tina! haha..today did the most "mo liew" (say it in canto) thing! just sat on the tram going up and down streets in hope of finding a real estate office with tina. then..suddenly out of the blue we decided to have fish and chips as port melbourne! unfortuantely the sky was grey with patches of blue in between 'cloud migration'... i called it tht cause of the irritating melb rain whereby it rains then stops almost as suddenly as it began due to the strong winds blowing the clouds away. but oh well we did manage to eat port melbourne fish and chips at the world famous REX HUNT'S seafood restaurant! (who in the world is rex hunt?? he even has merchandises on sale which includes video tapes of him!)anyway, had lovely thick chips with a generously batter covered fish fillet accompanied by lemon and of course the traditional tartare sauce! then had pisang goreng to satisfy my sweet tooth! hah..feel so contented. nothing beats food when it comes to filling tht 'emptiness' inside u. some random pictures of us while getting high on salty sea breeze!

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oh this one was taken when both of us were still 'sober'. NOTICE THE LION KING T-SHIRT!!

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look caused by "seagull shitting on head" phobia.

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newton's 3rd law : for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.


just discovered tht i dun really know the city tht well. came across this pedestrian walkthrough along bourke street which has cafes...looks really quaint and it reminds me of sydney. got to go and discover hidden treasures in the city before i graduate! tht's my aim in melbourne! have to go good food scouting as well. can't tahan surviving on 'student food'. must indulge once in awhile..hehe.

melbourne weather is getting on my nerves. so cold and wet! i want the warmth! argh!!! ok i'm off to continue with my bumming.

until the next update...never say 'never'.

October 01, 2005

post hols syndrome

lazy, lazy ,lazy. tht's the best words to describe what i'm feeling at the moment. have not been getting any work done since coming back from sydney. omg..sydney..the food!!! craving for it already! why can't melbourne have a pancake on the rocks or a kobe jones. those two restaurants are a must visit when in sydney! oh my pictures are up on multiply go to http://saigon86.multiply.com and also to chee yoong's site http://scyoong.multiply.com. all the pics are up in those two sites. ok this will be a short post. dun really know wat to blog about today.

till the next update...comfortable in ur presence.